Presented at the annual birth trauma conference by Make Birth Better

“At least you are alive.”

But what about my scar?

The one under my belly button
The one that stares in the mirror
The one I touch hesitantly
Everyday to remind me

of the blemished body
Of my failing to birth ‘naturally’
Of me closely facing my mortality
Everyday to remind me

That I wasn’t there
That I missed it
That I was asleep
Everyday to remind me

Missing her first breath in this world
Missing her first scream in my ears
Missing her first embrace in my arms

“At least you are alive.”
I have been told
Yet I feel dead inside
Crying over the birth
I did not have

Moonlie